3 Dining Etiquette Mistakes to Avoid in Upscale Restaurants

Julio Neves
November 28, 2024

Dining at an upscale restaurant is often more than just a meal; it’s an experience of refinement, ambiance, and culinary artistry. It’s also an opportunity to showcase your manners and appreciation for the effort that goes into making your evening special. While many people may feel confident navigating such settings, a few common etiquette mistakes can detract from the experience—not just for you, but for those around you as well. Let’s delve into three key dining etiquette mistakes to avoid and how to ensure your time in an upscale restaurant is as enjoyable and seamless as possible.

Talking Loudly or Disruptively: Respecting the Fine Dining Atmosphere
One of the hallmarks of fine dining is the sophisticated ambiance that allows guests to relax and immerse themselves in their surroundings. Upscale restaurants are designed to create an atmosphere of tranquility, elegance, and exclusivity, and maintaining this balance requires effort not just from the establishment but also from its patrons. Unfortunately, one of the most frequent breaches of etiquette in such settings is speaking too loudly or acting disruptively, which can jar the carefully curated experience.

When dining in a fine restaurant, your tone of voice matters. Loud conversations can disrupt the serene environment and disturb other guests who are there to enjoy a refined experience. It’s important to remember that the setting isn’t just about you; it’s shared by everyone present. While laughter and conversation are natural parts of dining out, excessive volume can cross the line from joyous to inconsiderate. Strive to keep your voice at a moderate level, even when the conversation is engaging or exciting.

Another aspect to consider is the use of electronic devices. Taking a phone call at the table, for instance, is a surefire way to disrupt the atmosphere. Instead, if you must take a call, excuse yourself and step outside or to a more private area. The same rule applies to notifications or playing videos—silence your devices before entering the restaurant and avoid using them in a way that might draw attention or disturb others.

Additionally, be mindful of table conversations. Avoid topics that could make others uncomfortable, such as contentious debates or overly personal anecdotes. Upscale dining is about savoring the moment, and contentious or loud discussions can detract from that. Show respect for the ambiance and the efforts of the restaurant staff who work tirelessly to maintain the environment. Your mindfulness ensures everyone, including your own party, has a pleasant experience.

Forgetting to Tip Appropriately: Showing Gratitude the Right Way
Tipping is a key part of dining culture in many countries, particularly in upscale restaurants where the level of service is often elevated. It’s a way to acknowledge and reward the effort and professionalism of the waitstaff who strive to make your evening exceptional. However, misunderstanding tipping norms—or worse, neglecting to tip altogether—can reflect poorly on you and disregard the hard work of those who made your experience possible.

In most fine dining establishments, tipping is not merely a token gesture; it’s a significant part of the staff’s income. A standard tip of 15-20% of the total bill is customary in many places, though this can vary depending on the country or region. For upscale restaurants, leaning closer to 20% is often considered appropriate, particularly if the service was exceptional. It’s also worth noting that some establishments include a service charge in the bill, so be sure to check before adding an additional tip.

Beyond the percentage, the way you tip matters too. Leaving a thoughtful note or verbally expressing your appreciation to your server can go a long way in making them feel valued. If you had a particularly outstanding experience, consider tipping above the standard rate as an extra thank-you. This is especially important if the staff went out of their way to accommodate special requests or dietary restrictions, or if the service was seamless and unobtrusive.

Tipping appropriately also extends to other staff members. For instance, the sommelier, coat-check attendants, or valet staff often rely on gratuities as well. A few dollars here and there can make a big difference and show that you value their contributions to your dining experience. Remember, tipping isn’t just about the monetary value—it’s a gesture of gratitude and respect for the people who work behind the scenes to make your visit memorable.

Disrespecting the Waitstaff: Politeness and Patience Go a Long Way
In an upscale restaurant, the waitstaff plays a crucial role in orchestrating your dining experience. From guiding you through the menu to ensuring every detail is perfect, their efforts are integral to the enjoyment of your meal. Unfortunately, one of the most glaring etiquette mistakes diners make is treating the staff with impatience, rudeness, or disrespect. Such behavior not only tarnishes the experience for everyone involved but also goes against the spirit of fine dining.

Politeness should be the foundation of every interaction with the waitstaff. Simple gestures like saying “please” and “thank you” can set the tone for a positive exchange. Remember that your server is there to enhance your experience, not to be treated as an inferior. Avoid barking orders, snapping fingers, or using a dismissive tone—these actions are not only disrespectful but also unnecessary in an environment designed for courtesy and mutual respect.

Patience is another key virtue to practice. Fine dining often involves multiple courses, complex preparations, and meticulous attention to detail, all of which take time. If your food takes a little longer than expected, understand that it’s likely due to the care and precision being taken in the kitchen. Instead of expressing frustration, view the wait as part of the overall experience—an opportunity to savor the ambiance, enjoy your company, and anticipate the exquisite meal to come.

When issues arise, such as an incorrect order or a delay, address them calmly and respectfully. Mistakes can happen, even in the best establishments, and how you handle them speaks volumes about your character. Rather than raising your voice or showing anger, kindly bring the matter to your server’s attention and allow them the chance to rectify it. Most waitstaff are trained to handle such situations gracefully and will go out of their way to make things right if approached courteously.

Disrespecting the waitstaff not only diminishes your experience but also impacts the morale of those serving you. Fine dining is a collaborative effort between the restaurant and its patrons, and mutual respect is essential for creating a harmonious and memorable evening. By treating the staff with kindness and patience, you contribute to the overall spirit of the establishment and ensure that everyone, including yourself, enjoys the occasion.

In conclusion, dining etiquette in upscale restaurants is about more than just knowing which fork to use—it’s about cultivating a sense of respect and mindfulness for the environment, the staff, and your fellow diners. By avoiding common mistakes like talking loudly, forgetting to tip appropriately, and disrespecting the waitstaff, you not only elevate your own experience but also contribute to the atmosphere of refinement and elegance that makes fine dining so special. These small but significant actions allow you to fully appreciate the artistry, effort, and care that go into creating an extraordinary meal, ensuring that every visit to an upscale restaurant is one to remember.